Jumping in

July 5, 2010 · Filed under Personal · Tagged , , , , , , ,

Hey everyone,

I thought I’d just write a personal ‘whats up’ blog entry to help me sort out my mind. Its 1:35 AM, my boyfriends asleep, so is my dog, and I really should be too. I feel asleep around 5pm on the couch which I believe was a result of too much food at the 4th of July BBQ and having soaked in our host’s hot tube for a while. So since I didn’t wake up until 9pm, I’m pretty much awake now.

I feel like I am ready to take it to the next level. I have been doing really well in my summer classes. I actually feel ahead of the game. I’ve been taking my homework very seriously and pushing myself harder than I ever have when it comes to hitting the books. Its great because as a result I feel really proud of myself, as well as more trusting of myself. I haven’t just been telling myself I NEED to do my homework, I’ve been DOING it.

It’s been a powerful learning experience. I’ve had to tell myself to let go of the idea that I have to do my homework perfectly for it to be done well. With 3 classes in a shortened 8 week semester, I have no choice but to just get some stuff done and turn it in. And it’s not that I’m turning in crap, far from it, I’m just allowing myself to not feel like I have to understand every little detail and see the meaning behind something before I do it.

This is something that I need to have infiltrate all area’s of my life. I seem to feel like I have to do things the right way and know exactly why I’m doing them before I do them. It’s a very weird kind of perfectionism that really just leads to procrastination and not getting things done at all. Sometimes you just have to jump in to what needs to be done and figure it out as you go. Maybe you wont end up with the BEST result, but at least you will end up with results as opposed to no results at all. So remember, IMPERFECT ACTION IS BETTER THAN NO ACTION AT ALL!

I guess where I need to apply this principle next is exercising. Yeah, maybe I wont be doing the perfect exercise that will get me the best results the fastest, etc etc, but I need to jump into doing SOMETHING and then adjust along the way. I need to stop debating and planning the perfect action plan in my head and just MOVE MY BODY. I can always plan as I go.

OK so I guess this has kinda turned into a blog with a message. But oh well. I will end with my plans for tomorrow.

I’d like to wake up at a reasonable hour, clean out the fridge (another action I haven’t taken because I don’t feel confident in my attack method, but goodness, I think I should be able to outsmart my fridge once I get in there right?), straighten my hair (cause I’m feeling good enough to care about how I look), pack a lunch and snacks to take to starbucks with me so I don’t spend money on food when I inevitably get the munchies while studying for 4 hours, and then go and well, study. At around 5pm I guess I will come back home and make dinner to bring to my friend Jill’s for our ‘Bachelorette’ Tv show and dinner get together. And then, it will be to bed early with my butt so I can bring myself back to waking up early.

OK! I’m gonna try and hit the sheets now. Catch you all later! Happy 4th!

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The Miley Cyrus / Perez Upskirt Photo Controversy-An Open Letter to Mr. Hilton

June 18, 2010 · Filed under Random Opinion · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 

Dear Perez,

First of all, I do not believe the term ‘Child Pornographer’ describes you or the action you took. However, I do believe the action you took could be termed as illegal due to Miley being 17 and is completely inappropriate as well as in bad taste. But lets not even go to that part of it. Lets even assume that Miley was wearing underwear, and lets even pretend that she is 25 years old for the sake of arguing for the BIGGER issue here. So here we go…

First, let me tell you something that every woman who has ever exited a car in a skirt knows- It is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to get out of a car with a skirt on and not for one second show something. Even with your legs tightly squeezed together your skirt can pull tightly over your thighs and there is still a way to peek up at the right angle. If photographers are flashing pics at every single second they are going to catch something no matter how careful she is. WOMEN SHOULD NOT HAVE TO FEAR PEOPLE TAKING INAPPROPRIATE PICTURES OF THEM AT EVERY WAKING MOMENT. They should not have to guard against perverts constantly by having to outsmart them at every turn. That’s not our ‘JOB’ in life as a female.

Victim blaming is typical toward women in this society. And you teach it very well on your website and twitter. You say that Miley Cyrus invites these kind of things because of her new ‘RACY’ image. But the huge difference is that it is an image she is choosing. It’s her choice and actions. You don’t get to decide that its OK to show her underwear to the world just because she dresses sexy onstage. That’s like saying if a girl dresses in a sexy low cut top she is ’inviting’ a guy to grab her breasts. That she is, ’asking for it’. An excuse that has long been used by people who sexually harass women. Another example, a frat guy at a party thinks, ’Well that girl sleeps around anyways, what does it matter if I MAKE her have sex with me?’.

You say you are anti-violence Perez, but this is a type of violence toward women. To embarrass and humiliate them sexually is a type of emotional and psychological violence that can sometimes lead to physical violence. You are defending this by saying its your job and you make a living off of it so its OK. You rationalize it in your head because ‘PEREZ’ is a character you play, and YOU wouldn’t necessarily be the same way in real life, that its OK because it’s not ‘real’. But that is NOT an excuse for your behavior.

You should be ashamed of how you sound in this interview. Like a sleaze bag lawyer trying to defend a rapist who is obviously guilty by using some lame insanity plea or something that doesn’t really add up just for the sake of defending the action. You are constantly making the world a worse place for women with your style of blogging, Perez. I know you don’t stand alone in sleazy and insulting blogging but you are a big part of it and you know you have a huge influence. You teach kids who read your blog that its OK to make fun of and attack others all the time when they look a certain way, gain a few pounds, wear something unfashionable, or act in a way you don’t like. You teach young boys that its OK to giggle and stare at a female who wears something revealing and then call her a SLUT. You truly have no idea how damaging that word is to women everywhere. You are teaching these kids to be mean and petty. You are teaching them to attack others before they can be attacked to somehow make them the ones who end up on top. You need to take a good hard look at what you are doing Perez. You occasionally use your website for good by promoting charities and gay rights and that’s GREAT, but it doesn’t excuse the other material.

By defending your actions with the arguments you used in the above interview you are doing GREAT damage to women everywhere. You are rationalizing taking advantage of posting a picture of a teenager in her underwear against her will. Think about that. You are telling young men and women that this is OK. You are trying to get them on your side when it comes to this issue. I can only imagine the message you are sending to young girls that will damage them if they are in a similar situation. That if someone takes advantage of them sexually that THEY invited it because they weren’t being ‘CAREFUL’ or ‘LADYLIKE’ enough. That they should ‘EXPECT’ it given the situation they walk into. And the same message is also sent out to the boys. That they can rationalize away their treatment of women if they ever dare make the mistake of letting their skirt fly up, wear a low cut top, or perhaps even drink too much at a party. It’s THEIR problem. THEY should have known better.

I ask you to think deeply about this. I don’t doubt that in real life you are a nice fun person and a good friend. I am greatly surprised though that the women in your life who you call friends, who seem to express great interest in treating women well (aka LADY GAGA), have not sat down with you and questioned your actions. Maybe they make excuses in their heads for you too, but the outcome in society is the same. So I ask you to think about if you want to leave the world a better or worse place for women because of the actions you took in your career.

You have enough money, you have enough fame, you could make a change for the better. You could still disagree with people, you could still say you don’t like what they are wearing, you could still say you’re not a fan of this or that persons singing. But you could keep it civilized and not as mean-spirited and certainly a hell of a lot less degrading toward women.

Thank you.

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Meal Replacement-And I Ain’t Talkin Slim Fast

June 12, 2010 · Filed under Beauty, weight loss · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My worst time for eating right is from dinner and then through the rest of the night. It seems all I want to do as the day winds down is to ‘reward’ myself with a comfy couch, some hulu.com and a steady stream of snacks. My boyfriend goes to bed much earlier than I do. He hits the sheets around ten pm on average and as of late, I’ve been frequently rolling in around 2-4 am. Probably not the best schedule for someone trying to slim down who’s prone to night time eating.

I did however manage to get a few days of not eating past dinner time under my belt  this week by replacing my urge to eat with certain activities that are entertaining and also remind me of why I’m inflicting this grumbly stomach torture upon myself. Here’s my number one inspiration so far…

1. Watching Beauty tutorials on youtube.

My favorite two girls by far are the Fowler Sisters. Aka Juicystar07 (Blair) and Allthatglitters21 (Elle). And I’m not alone. These ladies have millions of devoted followers and its not hard to see why. Both are beautiful, sweet, down to earth and really know their stuff. It’s the kind of guilty pleasure girly girl talk that can actually makes you super excited for something as simple as trying out a new mascara. Though for me, it goes deeper than that I believe.

I’ve always wanted to be one of those ultra polished girls/ women I see walking through my local starbucks with impeccable style and perfectly detailed head to toe primping. Not simply for the vanity of it, but because they give off the essence of a woman who takes care of herself and has pride in her appearance. Something I’ve struggled with my whole life as an overweight child, teen and now adult.

I always wanted to wear nice clothes, style my hair according to my mood and have fun with make-up. But my attempts always ended in disappointment because I didn’t really know what I was doing or had the mindset of, ‘What does it matter, a little eyeshadow isn’t going to make me look 50 pounds thinner’. I’ve discovered recently however that it DOES matter. That taking pride in your appearance and respecting yourself enough to make that extra effort can boost your psyche and show you a glimpse of the person you want to be.

When I take the effort to paint my nails or blow dry my hair, I don’t feel as hopelessly far away from my dream mirror image reflected back on me. I can see potential rather than someone who’s thrown in the towel on themselves. Instead of waiting for better days to come, I’m living them. So I’ll give myself that facial to get my skin into shape while I work on my body following suit. I’ll pick out an outfit thats more figure flattering so that when I do go out in public I feel more confident and positive about myself, which in turn makes me want to make better choices about what I order at that local starbucks. A caramel frap with gobs of whip cream? No, I think I’ll have the calorie free passion iced tea, it goes better with my outfit. ;-)

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Gorgeous Hair and Skin with Coconut Oil

June 10, 2010 · Filed under Beauty · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

My general philosophy on beauty products has evolved into the following. Natural, low cost, effective and multipurpose are the way to go whenever possible.  All of these targets serve to help me in my lifestyle makeover goals. For example, saving money, simplifying, being healthy, etc. Hopefully most of what I find has at least one of these benefits if not all. Now onto my first beauty product recommendation!

Organic Virgin Coconut Oil: Used for hair and skin
I use this stuff for so many things and I feel good about it because it’s natural, low cost, effective, multipurpose and lasts forever. The first way I use it is as a deep conditioning hair treatment. First, wash hair as usual but don’t condition, squeeze excess water out of hair and towel dry a little  leaving it a bit damp. Warm a couple of tablespoons of the oil up in your hands (it is a solid at room temp but will melt right away with the heat of your hands) and apply liberally through your hair and scalp (make sure to really get those dry ends!). My hair is medium thickness and a couple inches past my shoulders and I probably put about 1/8 cup total throughout my hair. Wrap hair back in towel and leave on for as long as possible ( I like to sleep overnight with it in my hair using a shower cap but even 20-30 minutes will do good things). The next morning jump in the shower and shampoo it out, condition, dry and style as usual. I like to do this once a week. Since everyones hair is different, it might be more or less for you. :-)

Benefits: For me, my hair becomes SO much more manageable. Its smoother, softer and doesn’t tangle as much. It also has gotten rid of my dandruff that I started getting out of no where a few months ago and couldn’t seem to find a way to fix. Coconut oil worked better than T-gel for me in this regard.

I also use coconut oil on my skin instead of store bought moisturizer. There is a saying in India thats states something along the lines of ‘If you wouldn’t eat it, don’t put it on your skin’, since your skin absorbs what you put on it. I think that’s pretty good advice. An added benefit is that it smells really good! Also, I especially like the fact that I can apply it right after shaving my legs and it doesn’t irritate them. I find most lotions give me little red bumps when I use them right after I shave.

And there you have it!

Question: What is your favorite natural beauty product? Let me know in the comments below! <3

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Planning for Weight Loss

June 7, 2010 · Filed under weight loss · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

I read a quote once that said, ‘Not planning ahead is planning to fail’. I think I’m starting to realize more and more how true that is, especially when it comes to weight loss.
I have a personal goal of losing 50 pounds and I don’t have to tell most people who’ve ever had an issue with weight how hard that can be. What I feel I am realizing now more than ever though, is that I need to attack this goal from more than just a, ‘Why can’t I stop eating CRAP!?’, kind of attitude.

I need to look at weight loss from a more strategic perspective. I need to PLAN for my weight loss to happen. Not just hope that I will always have the mind set or steady helping of will power to guide me through every single food situation that arises.

Fact-humans just don’t think straight when they are hungry. Their primal intuition says one thing over and over. Find food, lots of it, and get it in your belly-NOW. Oh, and the fattier and higher in calories the better, just in case you can’t find food again for a while. Now of course, this doesn’t suit most American lifestyles these days. High fat/ high calorie food is now a simple stroll to the fridge or drive to your local fast food joint instead of a 20 mile calorie burning walk through the Forrest. But are our bodies caught up with this new eating extravaganza utopia? Nope. Not even close.
So why do we expect to be able to simply fight off our natural biology all day long, every day, until our weight loss goal is met? And worse yet, when we ‘fail’ to fight off thousands of years of survival evolution we think of ourselves as worthless little piggies without an ounce of self control. Maybe we need to anticipate our bodies hyper needs for nourishment before they happen instead.

This is exactly what I’ve started doing, and I’m surprised at how something so simple can be so effective. I’ve started laying out my meals for the day during the night before. More often than not it takes away the internal panic and conflict I go through every time I feel hungry. Mind you this is very different from just planning what you are going to eat on paper. You are actually preparing your meal set up the night before so you can walk to the fridge, grab it and go when hunger hits you. Think of it as packing a school lunch for a child the night before. You’re portioning out a healthy balance of food to meet their needs, not gorging them into a food coma.

This has helped me go from the back and forth of, ‘Me want lots of food now! But can’t have it because must lose weight! But hungry and don’ t care!’ to ‘Oh yeah, this is what I’m eating for breakfast today’. Something as simple as laying out a package of oatmeal in a bowl with a spoon and two oranges gives me peace of mind.  And believe me, its much less stressful than having the devil/angel scenario playing out over my chubby shoulders throughout the day. ;-)

Question: What do you currently do or think you’d like try to do to plan ahead for eating right?

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The Great Purse Clean Out of 2010…

June 5, 2010 · Filed under Organize

Epic title huh?

Blah, apologies, I just used the word ‘Epic’ and it is by far the most overused word of 2009/2010. Anyhow, back on point. I absolutely love hotel rooms (this really does have to do with purses, I swear). I used to fantasize about what it would be like to live in a hotel room whenever I was in one. And it didn’t have to be a fancy hotel room. On the contrary, most hotels/ motels I have stayed at have barely peaked the luxury of a Hampton inn. In other words, they were nice, clean and sufficient but didn’t have many extra perks.

So I would sit in these hotel rooms and think to myself, ‘What if I had to live here and only use the items I brought with me for like a year, how would I do that?’. OK, so maybe I was a strange child, teen and adult, but nonetheless this is what I though about.

I would daydream about how I would organize all my basic morning/ night essentials very neatly around the bathroom sink. I would ponder as to how often I would have to do laundry (once a week on Fridays, I thought to myself, without fail).  I could even take my 8-10 items of clothing and mix and match them to make different outfits. Maybe stash enough food from the continental breakfast to never have to buy groceries? If I wanted entertainment I could have something new to read every day thanks to the complimentary edition of The Daily News. I would of course be entitled to those adorable little hotel sample sized shampoos and soaps for free. All of which I would use up fully before I requested the next to keep my very small space uncluttered. UNCLUTTERED! ‘Finally!’, you say, ‘She’s actually going to connect this to something about organizing!’ Yes, I am…

I believe the reason I was so completely fascinated with living in a hotel was because it was so much unlike my own chaotic world. Confession, my mom was/is a huge pack-rat, she saves absolutely everything and our house was quite messy and crowded growing up. I didn’t really learn many skills in the area of organization from my surroundings and thus my own childhood/teenage bedroom/ adult apartment/ room rental was always very much the same. Lots of stuff I didn’t need/ use/ have room for scattered about, making it very difficult to find the items I actually did want to use on a daily basis.

The idea of a hotel room, with only the basic essentials, was such a  far cry from what I knew. It was fascinating and refreshing to me. I thought if I lived in these hotels I could see more clearly what I would do with my day. What I would do with my life. What would be my focus, what I would spend my time on, what my priorities would be.

What I believe these fantasies prove to me, when I look back on them today, is how simplicity, cleanliness, and organization effect a persons mind set. Living in a sloppy and unorganized place encourages you to live a sloppy and unorganized life. Living in a clean and organized world allows you to see what’s really important and act on it with more accuracy. What you see and what you do are extremely interconnected.

Many Asian cultures create artistic philosophies out of their living environments. Feng Shui anyone? The mere placement of a specific color or element in a certain spot is said to bring you wealth, love, happiness and the list goes on. While I don’t believe there are any kinds of magical powers in these placements, I do believe their are real powers in the intentions behind them. Living in such a specified environment where everyday you are reminded of the things you are striving for in life is a good wake up call to the psyche.  My goal is to go through all the areas in my life and simplify and organize them to the best of my ability.

The first task I started with today was….you guessed it…my purse.  Here were the 5 simple steps I took to sweet sweet glory …

1. Dumped entire contents of purse out (WARNING: The image below may be disturbing to A-type personalities)

 

I know I know, ridiculous huh? I think thats an actual McDonald’s straw in the upper left hand corner. Moving on…

2. Created a trash pile, recycle pile, stay in purse pile, put somewhere else pile and sorted items into said piles

3. Placed stay in purse items in more suitable storage mechanisms (ie. loose make up in make up bag, change in change pouch, etc)

4. Placed items that I grab often in most accessible place (I put my cell phone and pens in my outside purse pocket for easy reach)

5. Return the rest of items back into purse-You’re done! Doesn’t that feel good?

Here was the end result of what was left in my purse…

MMM- nice huh? I must say this made me feel REALLY good about myself. Very accomplished and eager to take on the next task (I think its going to be my car!-stay tuned!).

Some additional actions I found helpful….

1. Using little plastic bags for items that could possibly leak or spill- like lotions, pills and hand sanitizer (I am the queen of ruined electronic devices no more!)

2. Separated my change and cash by putting change in little plastic bag. You can so easily pull out exact change this way (since the bag is see through) and not be stuck fumbling in line for that penny. (I might do an entire post on what you can do with little plastic bags-I am finding them to be reusable little gems!)

Thanks for reading all!

Questions:  Do you have any tips or tricks for keeping a well organized purse? What area in your life do you feel needs the most organization help? Do you find it hard to part with extra ‘stuff’ in your life? Why or why not? Share in the comments! <3

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Why I Started This Blog.

June 1, 2010 · Filed under Welcome

Hello all,

Welcome to my blog. I want to give you a brief explanation of why I started this blog and explain the title of ‘Lifestyle Makeover’ as well.

For most of my life, I have struggled with feeling a lack of control over my actions. I have this perpetual cycle of falling behind and running to catch up, or avoiding priorities all together. I have spent a lot of time wanting, wishing, hoping, planning, but not DOING,  eventually accomplishing or attaining. I do this in many areas of my life. Health, organization, personal goals, money, etc. Let me give you a specific example in the area of education.

I’ve always been horrible about getting my homework done. It started out with just a general distaste for school in my childhood that resulted in all out avoidance in anything that reminded me of school, which of course, nightly homework did. It turned into a lack of solid study habits and insecurity about being able to accomplish assignments and  learn all together.

I think somewhere deep down I am a perfectionist in the worst sense. If I have any doubts about being able to knock something out of the park, or knowing exactly how to proceed, I avoid it. Since I have very little experience in succeeding in academics, not for lack of brains, but for lack of trying, my confidence in my current college classes wavers like a bowl of jello during an earthquake.

Sometimes I get really psyched up and actually get some traction, but more often, I simply avoid opening my books altogether which perpetuates and huge amount of stress.  The closer I get to the deadline, the more I freak out about being able to get it done, and the more I avoid. Honestly, the idea of turning in a half-assed paper is downright embarrassing to me. If I had the chance to rush a C or B paper or not turn one in at all, I’d choose the latter.  As you can probably guess, this leads to a lot of dropped classes and poor grades.

I often find myself doing some last minute studying for a test or writing of a paper and cursing myself. I think,  ’Uh! Why did I do this to myself again!? If I had just started this earlier I probably would have done really well on it! And its actually interesting too!’. Why indeed.

Let me tell you, I DREAM of being a great student. I often gaze with envy at a the well put together, organized, focused, big red A circled on every item she gets back from the teacher, type of student. Her handwriting is neat and pretty. She’s not clamoring through a purse full of crumpled up receipts for a pen at the last minute to take notes (like me). She looks polished, awake, hydrated, nourished and not desperate to get the hell out of class because shes behind ten fold on her to do list. She probably arrived on campus 10 minutes before she really HAD to be there and took a leisurely stroll to class. She’s not desperately trying to find a parking space and then slipping in the door once the teacher has already begun her presentation (also me). And she’s not gazing at the clock every 5 minutes because she’s starving due to the fact that she didn’t wake up early enough to eat breakfast (You guessed it). I surmise that she probably even went for a 5 mile jog this morning AND gave herself the perfect mani/ pedi all before 8am. (OK maybe not but I project a lot, what can I say) The point is, she there. In the moment. Calm, cool, collected, prepared and focused on the task at hand. And man I want to be like her.

I tell myself I will be like her. I make up to do lists in my head that will get me closer to being like her. Closer to being my ideal self. But alas, instead of following through and moving forward, I freeze. I busy myself with things that are less urgent, less important than my education, my goals, myself. I avoid, I procrastinate, I tell myself a million little lies of why I can wait until tonight, tomorrow, the next day, the weekend, Monday morning, etc, to make things happen.

I use homework as my example, but this cycle plays out in similar ways in many areas of my life…..organization, exercise, healthy eating, weight loss, money management, cleaning, etc.

So how do you stop this kind of self destructive and unproductive behavior? How do you get AHEAD of the game as opposed to always running to catch up and sometimes just not catching up at all? Whats the root cause of this behavior? How do you address it? How do you turn it around? How do you become the person you’ve always wanted to be? The person you KNOW you could be if you could just stick to a plan, follow through and prioritize? Is it fear of failure? Fear of success? Both?

My goal is to find out. My goal is to get to the place in my life where I don’t fear my own lack of self control. Where I don’t lie awake at night and tell myself things like, ’I will not eat anything unhealthy tomorrow, no matter what’,  or ‘I will start my paper tomorrow, for sure”, or ‘I’m going to clean the kitchen right after I eat breakfast’, or ‘I’ll finally tackle that messy shelf’, while having absolutely NO faith in myself to follow through. My goal is to makeover my current lifestyle into a new one that gets me to where I want to be.

Being able to trust yourself to consistently (key word) do whats right by you is a skill that has eluded me my entire life. It has lead to a lot of self-loathing, stress and frustration. It’s not the way I want to go through life. The temporary relief of ignoring responsibility or ‘the task at hand’ is not worth not being able to love, trust and respect myself. Or get where I want to be in life.

I know this is a problem that so many of us deal with. Not being where we think we ought to be in life. Maybe you’re not  as bad as me, or maybe you are even worse, but nevertheless, we can all stand improve ourselves and our lives in one aspect or another. While ‘perfection’ doesn’t exist, better does. So lets be better and take control over the only thing we really can, ourselves.

Question to you: Do you have any ‘self talk’ that really works for you when you want to give up/ avoid the task at hand? What phrase/ saying/ word do you tell yourself? Let me know in the comments below! :-)

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Hello world!

May 29, 2010 · Filed under Welcome · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Find out what happiness and success means to you, and take the steps needed to make it happen.

Welcome to my Lifestyle Makeover Blog!

If you feel like your life could use some improvements, and really, whose couldn’t, come check me out. I will be blogging about my current personal journey in this area and creating a dialog where everyone can share their tips, tricks, struggles and triumphs.

We will talk about a variety of subjects from organization, to health, to time management, to weight-loss, to home design, to personal style, to makeup, to money, to product reviews of tools that can help you along the way.

Subscribe for updates and lets thrive together. :)

Official Launch June 1st, 2010!

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